If it's not meant to be :)

 What else can i do f it is not meant to be mine :)

Do I sound like I'm giving up my dreams :) I don't know. You decide :/. It has been tough time for me recently. Lots of things happens, the ups and downs and intermediates ( :D neither ups nor down) 

Recently, I've been offered to pursue my studies in MSci of Biology. It means I have another extra year (as a masters student) and of course (like any other typical student) would be so excited getting such news. We have been trying so hard to achieve this... Of course it's conditional.. I need to get reach some minimum level in order to make it unconditional. At first, I thought I could achieve that mark. I seriously can if I maintain my hard work or maybe increase a little bit. I would do anything in order to achieve that (I guess :P)

I got that email during reading week (1 week provided before the exam period starts). So, I was really excited and enthusiast.Yeah, I was. My first 2 paper went well. I was very satisfied with my answers and essays. My third paper, wasn't really okay, it was just nice or so-so (if you know what i mean). My 4th paper was like unexplained. I could answer most of the question but I wrote the essays (2 essays comprised 10 marks each). Well, I guess I need to forget about my third paper and focus on my 5th paper (the hardest one!!). It was really challenging as I was burdened by my own somewhat ridiculous aim (securing a masters placement). Still, I feel so much pressure. To be honest, yes people though that I am super genius that I secured a scholarship to further my study abroad (University of Bristol, UK), away from my hometown (Malaysia) but I can say it's all about 'rezeki' and it's fated that my path is here. I am not a super genius student, in fact I am a little bit slow-mo in studies if you know what I'm trying to say. 

Back to my point, I got quite low carry marks and despite all of the problem, Allah gives me such good friends and family whom I can say the 'backbone' in my life. I could not be arrogant as Allah had switches my difficulties in studies with great persons surrounding me :). With that low carry marks, I feel like it's almost impossible to secure the masters placement (but i should wait for the results to be released first). So, what's the point of my post? 

So, what I'm trying to say is sometimes, we want something big/high but if it does not meant to be that, so what can we do is trying to stay positive as THERE MUST BE SOMETHING BETTER AWAITING if we stop blaming ourselves or depressed upon something. Maybe God wants to tell us 'I reserve something for you, all you can do is pray continuously and be patient, I'll give it on the right moment or replace it with something better parallel with your capability'

Okay, I guess that's all. I need to go back to my revision. I still have another paper left and pray for me. Oh no, my stomach is grumbling! need to get my dinner too 

p/s I still put high hopes to secure the masters placement :) 

Love from Bristol
17:44; Arts and Social Sciences Library; 31st May 2016..

Btw, today's my sister's and my friend's birthday.. So happy birthday Syahirah and Aida !! 

Comments

  1. Unknown1 June 2016 at 03:54

    OMG, i should have re-read before i posted it :) lots of unfinished sentences :) my bad!

    ReplyDelete

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