The day when I feel useless (1)


Hi and Assalamualaikum peeps
Today. Well, it happened yesterday. Hmm, first of all, I really really hope that my acquaintances will not read this. Well, pretty sure that they will not read this as I am not a famous blogger, I just wrote all these for my own sake. I need to go back to UK in 2 weeks’ time because I just need to, unwillingly to be honest. It’s my faults and could not stop from not blaming myself. I would start my year 3 by the end of September and this is just August and I need to go back before 24th August as I failed a subject. I failed a subject. I failed a subject. A bitter truth. I need to resit the exam.

Since I am one of the Terengganu (one of the state in Malaysia) students who study abroad, I directly become one of the members of OSTeC (Overseas Students’ of Terengganu Council). Summer break is here and as usual, I was called by my friends to participate in one of the volunteering program. It is my pleasure to join such program however, I could not because I need to revise for the upcoming exam and I thought I would be just fine counting myself out. I thought so but I didn’t. I am not fine to be honest.

Being with my friends from OSTeC really made my day everytime I meet them. We talked about our study, future plans, future partners (ehemm), gossiping. In one of my article, I mentioned that I gradually lost my friends as I would rather to spend my time studying instead of hanging out with them during the term. So, summer break is the perfect time to make up any new friends. I would say that OSTeC’s members are my super cool friends. We are so close together until our summer be more meaningful than what it should. Running the programs together every summer bring us back every year’s memory how well our togetherness be.  
However,

This year, I need to count myself out in every program and it cannot be helped *hope you will understand*. The best friend of mine (not to mention his name here) always asked me to join more programs. He even offered anything. He asked me to bring my notes and would like to help me revising even though we are obviously not doing the same course. I am doing Biology and he’s doing Chemical Engineering. Then, he also would like to combine my group (during the program) with his so that he could help me organise my group and I would have more time studying.  I really really appreciate them thanks to you. But I just cannot. I currently feel so useless. The day before we (me and my bestfriend) went out together having lunch and he obviously noticed the peculiar, odd facial expression of mine. Yes, I was a bit stressed with everything and I think this is the perfect medium to express my heart out. Thanks again for asking how am I. If only we got at least 10 more minutes and I would tell you every single thing what makes me stressed out.

I don’t really have points in this article by the way but I do feel sad
Maybe I was regretting of what had happened. I did not expect that I could fail this subject. But I could not do anything. I just can revise at the moment and hoping for the best J
Kepada awak, terima kasih untuk green tea hari ni. Green tea tu sedap sangat!
xoxo
Farah.
2142 020816 Kampung Telaga Mengkudu.

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